Join the tribe
The creation of our fledgling energy bar company started with a group of most handsome men that we call “dad”. These burly men roamed the earth for years in search of a perfect mate that would birth their offspring and pass on their above average DNA to future generations. As a result they all had children and now this blog. Through years of modeling, encouragement, and relentless love the children of these men have created the greatest energy bar company in history (post-eradication of the Southwestern Plains buffalo herds) and it wouldn’t be possible without them.
To our beloved fathers we would like to honor each and every one of you (through a tear jerking public blog) as a mere token of our gratitude and respect .
TOM FORREST- Father of Katie. Thunderbird role: The business consultant. Tom is a uber successful hard working super human that lives in Hawaii. He has provided us with business advice that is priceless. Never afraid to speak his mind, (inherited by Katie) his straight talk honesty has guided many of our most crucial business decisions as well as awkward moments (often resulting in Katie or Taylor crying). He has provided us with a foundation to independently learn the ropes of business.
JIM COLLINS- Father of Taylor. Thunderbird role: The construction scientist. Jim is one of Thunderbird’s top customers and is known to buy entire boxes of bars from grocery stores (even though he could buy them slightly cheaper directly from us). He is a master craftsman and has the upper body of a pure bread labrador retriever. His physical strength and wisdom has led to many improvements in the Thunderbird kitchen. Jim reminds us constantly to balance both work and play and embraces the yin and yang between his job and love of water sports and traveling.
FRED MCNAIR- Father of Amy. Thunderbird role: The provider and spirit guide. Fred has blessed the Thunderbird kitchen with a slew of handy man tools and personal belongings. We happily have an over-sized deep freezer with a deer magnet that once graced Fred’s food. Fred is our spiritual consultant and guides our mind and hands through dreams. He is our courier in communication with Ben Franklin’s spirit and provides us with invention ideas. Fred is available everywhere and all times we need him.
CORKY GROAT- Surrogate father of Katie and our production line. Thunderbird role: Research and Development. Corky is like a father to us all. He is a master of production and has hand crafted many prototypes leading to our current bar making machine we now use. He plays the drums in a rock and roll band and uses hammers and flat-head screw drivers as drum sticks. Corky has been there for us from the start and is the most reliable man we know.
PHIL PILL JOHNSON- Step-father of Katie. Thunderbird role: babysits Lakota when we are working in the kitchen. Phil is a master dog whisperer that has taught Lakota many of her finest tricks which include one paw hand stands and back-flips on a skate board. He is also the non-official Thunderbird accountant and financial consultant (although he might not know this). He likes to wear name tags that say “phil”.
To all of the padres out there… this blog post is for you. To our fathers, we love you all. If looking for a last minute Father’s Day gift, forget the socks and handkerchiefs and get your dad some manly Thunderbird Energetica!
In efforts to spotlight the powers of Thunderbird Energetica, we have decided to run a new feature on our beloved blog. At the beginning of each month we will showcase a “regular” superhuman and officially adopt them into our growing tribe while publicly introducing them to you.
Without further ado, the June athlete of the month is long time Thunderbird enthusiast Cassidy Chelle Santaguida. I recently had time to sit down with Cassidy just West of the Continental Divide. We rendezvoused at La Poudre Pass Lake in the Rocky Mountain National Park. There we sat in complete silence and the entire interview was conducted telepathically.
From the time Cassidy was a mere tadpole her father raised her similarly to the protagonist in the movie Hana. She learned to hunt wild game with a mere arrow (as bows were not allowed) and speak 8 different languages. She swam a lot as a kid and independently studied aquatic biology. She attended the prestigious University of Texas and there joined the rowing team in order to have insanely developed biceps and beautiful bronzed skin. Currently Cassidy works developing software at the University of Texas that creates algorithms to detect optimal feeding times for her stunning dashound Frank . In her spare time she works at bettysport, coaches for team in training, and in an improv troupe called furiously missing! So talanted.
Currently she is training to run the Mayor’s Marathon in Anchorage, Alaska on June 18th. This will be her fourth marathon in five months! Her mission is simple-to raise awareness of the mission of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, in addition to her commitment to training she hopes to raise $4000 by June 8th. people can make donations here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/sctx/anchor11/csantaguid.
She wants to be clear, “I am an elite athlete who intends to spend much of the marathon in alaska day-dreaming of wolves and moose crossing my path. My legs are strong and my lungs are primed, i will go to alaska and be a champion”.
When asked about spirit animal affiliation, Cassidy quickly pulled a wild otter from her backpack. As she combed the creature with a fine ivory brush she stated “I have often been compared to the otter throughout my life. I am playful, I am a strong female, and I have a good intuition. I see the best in everyone and am ridiculously cute and cuddly”. Cassidy believes that the most serious and painful situations in life can be resolved with a playful attitude and an assertion of female strength”. Thunderbird Energetica has 2 female owners who are also strong female leaders. So much woman power in my life right now!
When training for the Alaska Marathon Cassidy sings ke$ha and wears copious amounts of gold glitter and earrings.
Her favorite Thunderbird flavor is cashew fig carrot. “It tastes like cake but makes my muscles strong like steel”.
Now time for a few important questions… What inspires you?
“There are so many things that make me want to be a strong, fun woman. i love a sense of community and support, i like safe places where people are free to express their emotions and ideas, i am inspired by people whose lives are driven by the balance of their spirit and their mind. i love the balance you can find by embracing the joy of sport to help work through the pain. the ocean is a beautiful place that reminds me to explore what’s underneath the surface. the desert adds a dash of danger and heightened awareness of how fragile yet strong life is. nature helps me recognize my place in the world, where i am powerless and i what amazing things i can accomplish. i am inspired by people who take risks and do things that scare them”.
Good answer girl… ok now a tough question… What is the first thing that pops into your head as you close your eyes and imagine a horse running wild through a field, what is the first thing that comes into your mind? “I see the rippling muscles, and the shiny hair, and joy of the run in her eyes, and i can see the work of her heart on her breath. the horse is working so hard but doing exactly what it’s meant to, and loving every moment”.
most champion moment/s in life? “Finishing my first marathon was amazing. winning swim relays with my best friend in high school was awesome. but my favorite moments are watching someone i’ve coached find the champion in themselves”.
After meditating with Cassidy I realized I was in the presence of a truly special human being. She is a wild stallion who is not afraid to dive right in to the things that she loves. She embodies much of what Thunderbird Energetica stands for and her ability to push further than the status quo is why She is the Thunderbird Princess of the month. To honor Cassidy and her profound mission please visit her at http://pages.teamintraining.org/sctx/anchor11/csantaguid. Thanks for the interview and good luck in Alaska. We will be burning sage in your honor.
Tomorrow we receive another delivery of the Thunderbird Energetica World Championship Edition cycling and running kits. These kits are both stunning and available to the public. Along with each kit sold we are including a sacred contract that binds our growing tribe members into a strict conduct code that best represents Thunderbird and the spirit eagle of championship.
Congratulations on your admittance into the Thunderbird Tribe. Your life is going to improve exponentially after donning the sacred colors of the Thunderbird Nation. Be prepared to transcend time and space as you begin a magical journey into manhood/womanhood/tribeshood.
This contract serves the intent to prepare you for your majestic voyage and will guide you in best wearing the Thunderbird Athletica Kit. Please read through and sign it before placing it on your refrigerator or in your safety deposit box.
I _______________________ sign this sacred treaty and agree that while wearing the Thunderbird Energetica Kit I will ALWAYS adhere to the following rules.
1). If while riding a double rainbow appears on the horizon, I promise to change course and head in that direction.
2.) I will never place underwear underneath my cycling bibs.
3.) If while riding, the spirit eagle needs to draft me, I will permit.
4.) I will strive to minimize consuming inferior energy bars and keep my pockets overflowing with fresh Thunderbird Energetica bars.
5.) I will stop and offer salutations if I come across a buffalo.
6.) I will honor my tan lines by proudly wearing sleeveless t-shirts while off the bike.
7.) I will stop for cheering school children and sign autographs.
8.) I will journey deep into my soul in search of my spirit animal. Once I learn the origins of this powerful creature I will harvest the energy it possesses during daily activities.
9.) While atop of the awards podium I will proudly wear my Thunderbird loincloth and flex my quads with the force of Zeus during this photo opportunity.
10.) I will honor energy ecosystems and discard my bio-degradable Thunderbird wrapper in a compost pile.
Remember, you are an ambassador for Thunderbird. Don’t be alarmed if your average steady state speed increases by 5 mph. Additionally be prepared for strangers to shower you with cheers and fresh roses at the end of your rides and runs. Thank you for your support and we look forward to seeing you on the road.
__________________________________________ (signature) _________________ (date)
Our treaties/contracts are life-long and many professional athletes have signed them.
To receive the Thunderbird kit and contracto, visit www.thunderbirdenergetica.com and contact us to verify we have your size. We produce full sets for cycling, running, and triathlon!
To the surprise of many, Thunderbird Energetica LLC consists of only 3 members. The 3 members of our tribe all happen to be the owners of the company. This means that of the billions of Thunderbird bars that have been injected into oral cavities around the globe, all were produced by the same 6 loving hands. No outside investors, no Vietnamese sweat shops, and no robots! We are incredibly proud of this accomplishment.
While feeling nostalgic this week we spent a moment reflecting on the growth of our little company. Operating at full throttle for the past 6 months, we have surpassed all imaginable goals for our first year of existence. We pause at this surreal time in our lives and pay a heart-felt homage to a most special group of people… our mommas.
These amazing women have provided unconditional love and support throughout our lives and we feel blessed by Zeus that they conceived each of us. Cathy, Terri, and Evelyn we love you from the bottom of our massive and powerful hearts. Thank you for being such wonderful role models. Strong like the buffalo, independent the ram, and beautiful like the peacock. Without you, Thunderbird Energetica would not exist and people would be forced to eat powerbars. Each and every bar that we make has a piece of your love embedded within its compostable packaging.
Further we honor moms with an exclusive Mother’s Day online sale. Be mom’s favorite kid this year by giving her a gift that outshines all your brothers and sisters. Yes, Thunderbird bars make incredibly potent Mother’s Day gifts that mom will be sure to love. All week we will be offering our bars at a whopping sale price so visit www.thunderbirdenergetica.com today and order yours in time.
Heres to you mom… no one says it better than Boyz to Men
“You taught me everything, Everything you’ve given me, I’ll always keep it inside, You’re the driving force in my life, yeah
There was so many times, Looking back when I was so afraid, And then you come to me and say to me, I can face anything
Mama, Mama you know I love you, Mama, Mama you’re the queen of my heart, Your love is like tears from the stars, Mama I just want you to know lovin’ you is like food to my soul”
Jerry Maguire- An elite sports agent can attest that professional athlete sponsorships can make or break a company. After a “power lunch” with Tom Cruise, the Thunderbird Tribe is fully competent in high dollar negotiations and prepared to embrace the ancient tradition of sponsorship.
It may come to little surprise that our standards for sponsorship considerations are unbelievably high. They are as follows:
1. Athlete must have a intimate relationship with their respective spirit/power animal.
2. Physically stunning quads that resemble the prime hind quarters of a wild stallion.
3. Piercing eyes of a wolf. A thousand yard stare that not only commands respect, but additionally renders others into submission and honor of matriarch/alpha status.
4. Must have the heart of a lion. So strong that blood is pumped with the force of a fire hose, yet full of rainbows that symbolize eternal love for nature and human.
5. Enigmatic and full of mystery! Must have won every middle school talent show competition.
6. A true champion!
Now we would like to introduce our main man Cole Kirkpatrick. Cole has been dominating everything he partakes in. Not only is he a intergalactic dirt bike deity, but he is one hell of an amazing person. Katie first found Kirkpatrick wandering the barren landscape of Denton, TX wearing nothing more than a loincloth and a necklace composed of bear claws. Thankfully Katie enjoys approaching strangers and as a result that day would forever change our lives.
Katie could instantly tell that Cole had a good heart! His enthusiasm and positive outlook on life radiated as if he constantly stood at the end of a magestical double rainbow. Cole was modest and we had no idea that our new friend was also a professional dirt bike racer. As described by my next door neighbor (who also races dirt bikes) “Cole Kirkpatrick is the next big thing! A rising star brighter than my own wife, I love him like he is my own child!”. Needless to say, turns out that our friend Cole is a phenomenal champion! His race results speak for themselves… National Enduro Series 3rd place, Multi-time national enduro winner, Ozark 100 Miler Champion x2! And this list goes on for miles…
Most recently Cole has been racing his mountain bike with the grace of a mountain goat. He is currently tearing the legs off of less shapely Cat 1 racers and there is talk of becoming pro over the next few months! He is racing the Mellow Johnny’s Classic this month.
Cole is a rare breed of athlete that truly embraces everything that Thunderbird stands for! He is a leader and role model in the community, dedicated and passionate about life, and meets all 6 of our sponsorship standards! Way to go Cole! We are proud of you and look forward to seeing your wings spread while racing on the shoulders of the Thunderbird! Cheer him on at www.kirkpatrickracing.com
All photos compliments of Travis Kincaid.